Shocker of Shockers: I am slightly Type A. I need things organized and orderly. I keep lists like they are going out of style, and I need to feel like I have a handle on everything happening around me. It’s one of the reasons why I started The Realist Adjusts the Sails; I wanted to keep written track of my own life.
How very, very, very Type A.
And that is why I decided to start this particular post with a pointless table. One that is tracking two of my biggest challenges right now: giving up wine and getting back on track with Weight Watchers.
Let’s take Challenge # 1, shall we. As I mentioned in my previous post, Books and Wine Part II, I have come to the hard-learned realization that I drink entirely too much vino. I wouldn’t call myself an alcoholic, at least not yet, but I am on the fast-track since I was downing as much as a bottle a night (and if it was in the house, even more than that). Therefore, before I started losing the things in my life that matter more to me than fermented grape juice, I decided to call it quits. Give it up. Let it go. And focus my attention on other things.
I also decided to start a reward system. It worked when I was 5 and wetting the bed… yes, I will admit I used to wet the bed, many eons ago. Why can’t it work now that I’m 33 and drinking a bottle of wine every night? Same diff.
So, for every 7 days I go without a glass of wine, I will reward myself with a new book. I figure that if you count up how much money I spend on wine (averaging $5 – $10 / bottle) during the standard 7 days, I would have between $35 and $70 to spend each week on a book. Those are some nice books coming my way if I stick to this. And I was very excited – very nerdily excited – to buy my first reward book when I hit Day 7: Endurance: Shackleton’s Incredible Voyage by Alfred Lansing.
I am a maritime history geek, and one of my favorite topics is polar exploration. I have read several books on the search for the Northwest Passage, but have yet to read anything on Shackleton’s 1914 Antarctic voyage. Can’t wait!
Now, I am up to Day 10 of no wine. And as is the usual custom, I am feeling great. I have been sleeping well. I am waking up refreshed and invigorated. I feel motivated and inspired during the day – compared to the groggy, cloudy, and lackluster way I feel when my wine intake surpasses my daily water intake.
But do I miss it? Oh for the love of Persephone, YES!! I even had a dream the other night I was drinking a bottle of wine – a bottle that never emptied too, by the way. But like any other “bad addiction” I know I need to stay away from it. As I said before, and will keep saying again and again to remind myself, I can’t enjoy wine like a normal adult. So it’s gotta be all or nothing.
And now I have delayed long enough: Challenge # 2. Weight Watchers. Sigh. I blame my wonderful, amazing, incredible, life-changing, eye-opening cruise around South America for this. I was doing so well, and then I went on that trip. And I have had the worst time getting back on track.
Why? Oh, I don’t know. I don’t have an answer to that. I can blame laziness. I can blame access – J and I have not done a thorough grocery shopping in a few weeks. I can blame anything. The main point is that I have not been motivated.
And I keep trying to re-motivate myself. I do the usual pep-talk thing:
Rachel, take this one bad day, and then tomorrow, go back to it.
Rachel, you have worked so hard to lose the 20 lbs you lost before the vacation – do you really want to gain it all back?
Rachel, YOU ARE GETTING MARRIED!! Do you want to look like a cow at your own wedding??
And nothing has been working.
That is why, today, I am doing it yet again. Today, I am telling myself that this is it: get back on track. As of today. It is now 10:39am, and I have stuck to it. We’ll see how long it lasts.
Especially since Weight Watchers is a pain in the @$$. Don’t get me wrong: I love the Weight Watchers system – the allotment of daily points; the endless supply of recipes; the online discussion forums; etc… — but the tracking is a pain in the @$$. Entering every single morsel that enters my mouth is time-consuming, tedious, monotonous, and well, what other descriptive word can I throw in here to complain? I got bored entering all the details: I had ½ a tablespoon of olive oil, 1 tbsp of shredded parmesan cheese, ½ a teaspoon of parsley, blah, blah, blah…
I quit entering the drinks at one point, even before I went on vacation, because even though I know beverages contain calories, I didn’t care. I don’t care if a cup of coffee with a ½ teaspoon of creamer is worth 3 points. Or a glass of raspberry juice is worth 5 points. Even as Type A as I can be, I can’t worry about every molecule that comes in contact with my tongue. I just can’t.
So I’m going to let myself have the drinks. I drink mostly water anyway (and an average of 2 cups of boring drip coffee per day) now that wine has exited stage left. Even the occasional glass of juice isn’t going to make me gain 20 pounds. So yeah, man. No tracking drinks.
But I do have to get back on the Weight Watchers track. And given my Type A-ness, I am hoping that a pointless table that shows my progress will help with the motivation. I definitely need it right now.